Bellbottom Blog

Dad: An Appreciation Part 1

He is fine. Still alive and kicking.

I just think lately we see too many posts about people who have just died.  Followed by memorials, most very touching, that include the phrase, if only I had said this while they were still around.

I am going to talk for a little while about my dad today.

Born in 1927, he was the youngest of five.

The family didn’t have much money. His mom was a hardworking woman who took in laundry from neighbors to help make ends meet.

His father was a difficult man. He squandered most of the money he made. His selfish attitude in monetary matters was not looked upon with favor by the different landlords they had. Dad said, they moved a lot as kids “one step ahead of the sheriff.”

His dad worked on houses often using his kids as unpaid help. My dad, and all my aunts and uncle, could wallpaper, paint and do simple carpentry, at a very young age.

Growing up in Fort Wayne, during the Great Depression, was not something that the kids look back on with any bad feelings. They often talk about how they had to make their own fun. I have teased them that over the years most of their childhood stories end with, “and then we picked up your Dad  and ran.” All harmless childhood pranks, but running was involved.

They were all raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools, that were full of the discipline those schools are legendary for.  Nuns with rulers and the like.

Eventually, Dad was ready to graduate from high school and enter into the Navy.

The year was 1945. By the late spring of that year, Germany had been defeated, but Japan was still fighting island by island.

But before he left home a disturbing incident happened.

First, a little background, in those days it wasn’t uncommon for extended families to live under one roof. Such was the case at Dad’s house. his sister and her husband lived with them.

One night, his father came home in a particularly foul mood. Screaming about wanting to kill everyone in the house.

He was met on the front porch by Dad’s brother-in-law, who was wielding a shotgun. My uncle had a furious temper which came in very handy that night. He convinced my grandfather to leave by promising him he would shoot him right there and then.

As the rest of the family watched and listened from the inside of the house, my grandfather left, never to be seen again. He moved to Ohio and raised another family.

Dad went into the Navy and while his ship was sailing across the Pacific to Japan, Pres. Truman dropped two atomic bombs on the Japanese mainland forcing a surrender and ending the war.

Dad finished his year in the military.and went to a school in Chicago to learn about being an auto mechanic.

Came back to Fort Wayne and was working at a filling station, when a chance encounter would change his life.

In the olden days, dear readers, at a filling station the attendant would come out to your car and do the following: ask how much gas you wanted and while filling it to the requested amount would clean the windshield, check the oil and water, even check the tires.

On  this occasion, when he was completing the transaction, the woman said that he had shortchanged her. Giving her change back for a ten when she had given him a twenty.

That moment led to a date and then another and another.

He went to work for International Harvester.

They eventually got married. June 6, 1953.

They bought a house.

Three years later,  I came along.

He left Harvester and got a job with the Post Office as a letter carrier. There was less money but better job security.

My younger brother came along in 1959.

One constant of my Dad’s life was his love for bowling. Every Wednesday night for as long as I can remember he would join his buddies in a bowling league. NOTHING got in the way of his bowling night. And once or twice a year, they would travel to a bowling tournament for the weekend.

It wasn’t until my own adulthood that I fully appreciated what must have went on during those trips. I just knew that the entire car reeked of smoke. Let’s say these guys were a thirsty bunch too.

As far as being a Dad doing Dad things, he took us to baseball practices and a youth bowling league. Taught us how to throw and play catch.

He was a little gruff.

One day when I was about ten, my mom said,”Why don’t you kids ask your Dad anything? You come and ask me. He wants to know why.”

I said, ” He always says no. Why would I ask if I know the answer.?”

“Oh,” she said and left it there.

Later she had me go ask him something and for the first time he said yes.

That was a special moment for us.

As I learned about his father in my later years, I began to understand how difficult it must of been for Dad to be a father himself.  He didn’t have an example to follow. He learned what not to do, but he had to learn the rest of it on his own with considerable help from Mom ,of course.

I have more to talk about , so we will pick this up next time.

Peace.

Finding Love Chapter Four

The big day is here.

June 1, 1991

Slightly 4 months since their first date, here they are.

The weather is perfect. Sun shining. Not much wind. Not too hot.

He woke up happy that he had rejected the idea of a bachelor party.

His friends had pushed him about it, but he felt his life as a single man covered all the things that would be in such a party. And he wanted to be at his best on this day he had waited so long for.

They arrived separately around 3:00 for the 5:00 ceremony. The plan was that she would get her hair finished after the dress was on and they would take all the official pictures before the ceremony. But as with most things, the hair took a little longer than expected.  So, he paced around the small area near the front of the church. His nerves were frayed. As were hers.

He checked his pocket and found that he had $25.00 left. They had really cut it close with the money.

The clock continued to move.

His cousin mentioned that his car was right outside the door if he wanted to change his mind.

The groom managed a weak smile.

Eventually, they decided the pictures would have to wait until after the ceremony.

From their respective locations, the sound of the church filling up and the organist playing let them know the time was near.

At the prompting of the minister, he came out from the room into the front of the church, taking his place near the front of the altar.

He surveyed the crowd. Exchanging nods and smiles with family and friends. Trying to remember to breathe.

The organist started the processional.

The bridesmaids came down the aisle followed by her daughter and then as he looked toward the back. Framed in the door with her father was his bride-to-be.

All the anxiety, worries, nerves were replaced with a feeling that he was soooooo incredibly lucky to be standing where he was on this day.

She came down the aisle.

Both of them smiling as large as anyone has ever smiled.

They joined hands as the preacher started to speak.

Exchanging a quick squeeze of each others hands trying to reassure one another that this was really happening.

As the vows were recited and various candles were lit, there was a moment coming up that they were both looking forward to.

A young couple who were singers at this church and many others around the area were handling the duties this day.

But for this song which came near the end of the ceremony, the man would do a solo to the Lords Prayer.

It sounded and looked close to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF9bEPVwDnM&list=PL04663A7F23A2E606&index=3&feature=plpp_video

Beautiful.

Now all that was left was for the preacher to say: “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

The walk down the aisle was full of happiness and applause.

No bloopers were committed during the ceremony.

A receiving  line was quickly formed to thank the guests as they left to go to the reception.

The weight of the world has been lifted off of their shoulders.  Everything had come together wonderfully. They accepted the congratulations of all those who had attended. Laughter and jokes filled the area.

Pictures were taken. With all the different possible combinations.

After that was done, the bride and groom drove off to the reception.

And into the rest of their life together.

A Little of This A Little of That

I am taking a short break in the Finding Love series to clear some things off of my mind before I continue.

Nothing terribly serious.

Had a guy ring the doorbell yesterday.

Said he was from Scott’s Lawn Service and wanted to know if I wanted an estimate. The conversation went like this.

“No thanks, I have a lawn service.”

“Really? Who?”

“You guys”

Looks at dandelions in yard. “When were we here last.”

“A couple of weeks ago.”

“oh,well you have to give it a little bit of time.”

“Guess so.”

I promised to avoid all things political when I started this blog and I am trying to hold to that.  But it isn’t easy.

For example Ted Nugent is in the news today.  He used to be a big deal for a few minutes in the late ’70’s and early ’80’s. He is an attention-seeking, washed-up, aging musician who runs his big mouth every once in a while.

I would rather talk about Levon Helm.  He was a member of a great band called The Band.  Played with Bob Dylan. Made classic rock music.

The Weight. The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down. Up On Cripple Creek. Stagefright. And my favorite, Ophelia.

If I was a better blogger, there would be YouTube clips right here, but we are low tech here at the Bellbottom Blog, so find them yourself.

Was in the best concert movie ever. The Last Waltz.

Even though he wasn’t ready to give it up when the movie was made, it didn’t stop him from giving a memorable performance.

He also did some acting along the way. Playing Loretta Lynn’s father in Coal Miners Daughter.

By all accounts he was a fine southern gentleman, who loved playing music up until a couple of days ago.  He is losing his battle with cancer. Twitter has been full of tributes and videos of his music.

He will be fondly remembered because of how he lived and what he contributed to the soundtrack of our lives.

Ted Nugent….will just be a punchline. A fool.

My favorite tweet from the last week came after a failed North Korean missle launch.

“In related news, North Korea drops out of International Angry Birds competition.”

Well, that is all I have for now.

I would like to thank those of you who have said nice things about the Finding Love series. It means a lot.

Until next time, Peace.